Skip to main content

How To Buy A House vs Online Dating

Buying a house is like online dating. I say that having had experience of both. Before having met The Incredible Davey (he requested a superhero pseudonym, we shall refer to him as TID henceforth) I discovered that in order to be an effective online dater, you need to date like a man... by having at least three men who you're going on dates with at a time (not all together). It means that if one isn't as responsive as you'd like or you decide you don't like another, there are still two more to keep you amused. And the same applies when looking for houses!

The similarities in the two experiences are uncanny:
1. You do both online.
2. It's brutal.
3. You need to be prepared to have your heart broken.
4. It takes hours of trawling to find one that you might like.
5. The photo's are often misleading.
6. You can 'try before you buy' but just the tip. You don't really know what's under the 'bonnet' until you're entrenched in the relationship.

It's been a while since I've posted and this experience has encouraged me to get writing again. TID and I seem to spend hours and hours on Rightmove and occasionally Zoopla essentially trolling for our new home. Any property with a vague nice-ness or potential of potential is liked and then poured over numerous times.

It's going to be seriously hard to find a house with a river frontage like this with our budget, but hey it's worth trying!

When we got serious and stopped looking at the £1.5M properties with a river frontage and attractive period features (versus the unattractive period features of the +_1960's and 1970's properties) we opened a new email account with a pretty ridiculous name to filter all of the emails sent from the estate agents and because there was absolutely no way I was going to give them my actual address. And this is already paying off because for some reason certain agents seem to think that we're interested in areas, sizes and prices that we specifically didn't ask for. Begrudgingly I handed over my mobile number and now also receive calls about said properties 'have I seen the email that was sent five minutes ago, during a busy work day?' to what is clearly a private email account???

What I particularly enjoy is when the agents ask how I'm planning on paying for a property that I've expressed interest in? 'Well Mr Agent what I'm actually going to do is take out several credit cards and incur a massive, crushing credit card debt' or 'I plan on winning the lottery, which reminds me, I need to buy a ticket.' Heaven forbid I should be a normal person and pay for it using a *shhh, whisper this* mortgage.

I won't go into the details of each property that I've liked, really it's only me who would find that interesting. Suffice to say that as first time buyers, we're skipping the 'starter home' and are moving straight onto the 'family home'... but with the starter home budget.

So we've got a search on our hands and will probably be looking at a complete fixer-upper that is only vaguely liveable in, but which we will persuade ourselves is actually okay for the next x years until we can afford to do it up... By which time we will have won the lottery and it will be substantially more than the £2.70 I got excited about last week!


  1. Ahhh, trials and tribulations of looking for a home. Beautifully written!

  2. Ahhh, the trials and tribulations of searching for a home. Beautifully written.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Marking milestones

When Bug was born, well a month or so after, I bought some cards to mark her milestones. Who knew that I should have bought them when I was preggo? So we missed a few photos… But now I find myself attempting to dressing her up for her milestones, only for her to accessorise them with accoutrements such as vomit! Then I jump around, cajoling her into smiling, while hopefully the camera is in focus and I actually press the snap button.  Those photos are all well and good. But I want some real-life photos and babies aren’t renown for their on-cue performances! So how do you actually get that photo of her first tooth?!?  That’s one of the current milestones we’re trying to mark. And she’s not particularly given to opening her mouth wide, unless it’s to cry loudly! I may not be parent of the year, but I’m not about to start taking photos of her mouth while she cries! So, it’ll just have to wait until she smiles for a prolonged period, while I conveniently have the camera to hand! Case in po

4 month sleep regression

I write to you from Hell… just kidding, I’m on the foot stool next to Bug’s bed. Not talking, not touching, just sitting while she lies with her head facing the other way. And every few minutes gives an attempt at a cry.  But at least she’s in her bed! She’s completely refused all naps in her bed so far this week. So this is a major win! I’m talking champagne, the I proper stuff… or at least a really large glass of whatever is open in the fridge.  Now bedtime is the stuff nightmares are made from! Bedtime used to be a pleasant routine, now it’s a panic-inducing labour. I’m pretty sure my blood pressure is through the roof, climbing from approximately 18:00, in anticipation of the dreaded sleep attempts! Last night was an early 22:00ish before she was down. The night before, midnight. And over the weekend, one night her refusals were so adamant that I got a sum total of zero hours sleep. By midnight it was clear the only way she’d sleep was in my arms. So Bug and I got the big bed. She

One good thing about social distancing…

Is that nobody comes too close and I can get away with only half brushing my teeth (no toothpaste, had Bug in my arms and wouldn’t have been able to rinse). And not wearing deodorant (again, the baby!) Also, still wearing some of my pyjamas, semi-disguised  as day clothes… But nobody can really tell cause they can’t get too close! Win! On top of that we had a very successful walk. The dog mostly listened and was easily distracted by treats. Bug slept the whole time and was seemingly nose-blind. And my back pocket doubled up as my coffee cup holder! Hands-free, here we come!  Oh, and because we were out walking for so long - two hours, until it was time for the next feed - the dog is exhausted! He hasn’t been this tired since his play date with best friend Amber! Lucky x