Mutton dressed as "yeah-I-really-like-flowers-so-I-put-some-in-my-hair-and-some-like-diamante-clips-innit"
On a recent little trip up to Scotland, The Tourist and I stopped off in a Tesco's just outside Glasgow to pick up some odd bits and bobs. Our first request for Cos lettuce was met with some fairly blank stares - if we were after lettuce, it would be in the lettuce isle. What Cos was in particular, they could not be too sure.
Our need for 120 bread-rolls that would all still be fresh in a few days time proved also to be a bit tricky. Various bread-roll domination tactics were subtly applied - a trolley as first defence while we hastily body-blocked the actual packets, selected the best and piled the trolley full - all while doing the odd sum!
I would like to say that when we paid for the vast various items it was the quantity that surprised the teller. However this would be a lie - it was actually this woman:
Our need for 120 bread-rolls that would all still be fresh in a few days time proved also to be a bit tricky. Various bread-roll domination tactics were subtly applied - a trolley as first defence while we hastily body-blocked the actual packets, selected the best and piled the trolley full - all while doing the odd sum!
I would like to say that when we paid for the vast various items it was the quantity that surprised the teller. However this would be a lie - it was actually this woman:
Fresh from a night out on the town Miss Daisy was just stocking up on a few supplies before Mavis and Sybil came over for round two...
Miss Daisy was in no rush though, and she trusted nobody - querying the cost of EVERY item. Clearly her friends weren't coming for lunch.
With her mock-snakeskin trousers and leopard print top... attention to detail ladies - this outfit would not have been complete with out the finishing floral and diamante touches.
Drum-roll please...
Ta-daa! One should always bring in the colours one has used elsewhere in one's outfit, including one's hair. And what better a way to do it than to use the same colours (pink and blue) that one has used on the back of ones head, in the front - I guess it really brings out the colour of one's eye make-up!
Lucky